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Joke of the Day

"At the police station a) Somebody stole my wallet. b) When did this happen ? a) I don't know he also stole my watch."

"After his failed Presidential run, Bernie Sanders decides to write a book and finally endorses Hillary Clinton. The Clinton Foundation bought 10 million copies in advance."

"Why is North Korea so lame? It's got no Seoul."

"Is my ambition to be a plumber just a pipe dream?"

"What do you call a guy with no shins? Tony..... toe knee"

"I told my girlfriend to make a sextape together. She agreed. It became a vine"

"My Swedish friend asked me to stop making Ikea jokes. Ikea'nt"

"*at waffle house* ""do you want bacon or sausage?"" 'YES'"

"How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic? Because Americans use imperial unit system."

"I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events."