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Joke of the Day

"How is cunnilingus like riding a bike with an open face helmet? It's a lot of fun as long as you don't end up with bugs in your teeth."

"Looks like my prof is giving black friday deals too 50% off late assignments."

"Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin."

"This mop seemed a lot more exciting on the infomercial."

"What is the difference between a call center job and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"What did the octogenarian pirate say? Arr matey!"

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a whole bunch of hairs, and a fish that you just can't seem to find"

"Doctor asked his patient... A doctor asked his patient: Do you speak when you're sleeping? -No, I speak when the others are sleeping. I'm a teacher."

"A man with dyslexia... Walks into a bra."

"My wife made fun of my (admittedly) ugly balls again. I shall now drop the charade that I am a ""feminist."""