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Joke of the Day

"Two grapes were walking down the street and one was assaulted. If that didn't make you laugh, it's because GRAPE JOKES ARE NEVER FUNNY!"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Flatbread"

"*stands by cucumbers at grocery store *feels intimidated *hides by baby carrots *gets ego boost"

"If I had a sex change, I would change mine to more"

"What kind of insects to secret agents like? (as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders."

"The First Order from Star Wars VII were very environmentally conscious... ...because their Starkiller base was solar powered."

"I maintain a lifelong grudge against anyone at a restaurant who orders after me yet gets their food before me."

"why don't programmers like nature? because it has too many bugs"

"Mom, you bought me the wrong magazine! This isn't MAD, this is DISAPPOINTED!"

"Show me a prostitute that is happy being paid in information about past events... ...and I'll show you a whore that'll go down in history."