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Joke of the Day

"Hard to believe the American flag is truly patriotic when the American flag itself doesn't wear an American flag pin."

"#MarriedPeopleIssues You hang up.. No, you hang up... You hang up.... Noooo, you hang up. They're your clothes. I'm not your maid."

"When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It's painful only for others. It's the same for if you are stupid."

"There's currently a thin shell of space, hurtling through the solar system at 67,000 mile per hour, in which boners must be blurred. ""Japan"""

"What did the kid who could see dead eskimos say? Icy dead people!"

"Women are like cars. We want the ones that look AND work the best, but none of us have the money."

"What's the difference between a potato and a chickpea? You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you."

"12 year old girls are an untapped market."

"What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry."

"A priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says: ""What is this, some kinda joke?"""