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Joke of the Day

"Guy says to a girl, please give me a... ....blowjob."" The girl says, ""can't you be more romantic?"" So the guy says, ""ok, give me a blowjob in the rain."""

"""Wetalian!"" -Multiple Italians"

"My das always used to eat rabbit before he went for a run - he said it made him go faster Really, it just put a little more of a hop in his step"

"I invented a new word today! Plagiarism."

"A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk. She's got a false bottom in her drawers. Just thought of that one today."

"Have you heard about the guy who had his whole left side amputated? I heard he is all right now."

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

"If we eliminated, ""Is your car running ok?"" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak."

"Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them."

"The church are upset about a new type of Heroin, called ""Jesus"" They hate it when people take the Lord's name in vein."