226145

Joke of the Day

"Guy says to a girl, please give me a... ....blowjob."" The girl says, ""can't you be more romantic?"" So the guy says, ""ok, give me a blowjob in the rain."""

"Just slammed 12 wheatgrass shots now everyone at Whole Foods is trying to take my keys"

"What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth? What flavor au jus?"

"What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity? Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!"

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home"

"What did the Jew say to Kim Kardashian's booty? ""Isreal?"""

"I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times"

"Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?"

"Figured out how to make my dick 1mm Fold it in half"

"Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you......Fourty seven times."