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Joke of the Day

"There was a devastating fire in my shoe shop. So many lost Soles."

"new stereotype I just invented: everyone else but me is bad at navigating their cart at Costco"

"Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10? Because : he still loves vista,baby!"

"How gays decide who will be on the top? With a swordfight."

"I tried eharmony. They kept matching me up with women who look like me in a wig. I'd be too intimidated to date someone that attractive."

"What would have happened if Alexander Fleming met Euler? They would have discovered Penicil(e^(x))"

"I formed a band with my therapy group. It was fun for a while, but we couldn't make it big. Our album 'Appetite for Self-Destruction' didn't do well with the critics."

"I'm going to keep buying cats until one of them does something hilarious and makes me a YouTube millionaire."

"So it turns out the son of a preacherman just had really long arms"

"twitter is obviously Japanese, it wants us to hate whales as much as it does"