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Joke of the Day

"Beginning Magic by Beatrix Star"

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"How can you find out the gender of an ant? Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant"
"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. Should have cooked it on aloha teperature."
"Whats fun for 9/10 people? gang-rape"
"When you sit next to a talker at the movies you're allowed to hit them in the face and move seats. It's in the ticket fine print."
"Day 3 of weight loss challenge: all my coworkers look like tacos. I do not understand how the meat remains in the shell as they walk around."
"When my wife tells me to jump I have only one question... Why aren't you in the kitchen?"
"The three rules about procrastination. 1. 2."
"I secretly love men from Scotland... It's my kilty pleasure."
"So.. this pickup line works Knock Knock. Who's there? Sex with. Sex with who? Sex with me!"