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Joke of the Day

"Why are Atheists so resistant to video game cheats? They don't believe in godmode"

"Q: Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" A: Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""

"You know those before-after models? I'm a professional before model"

"Playing that 'Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?' song on your iPhone, full blast while entering a public toilet stall, feels pretty good."

"A man hobbles into a McDonald's and walks up to the counter. He proceeds to place his order of 1 hot fudge sundae. The cashier asks him ""Crushed nuts?"". ""No."" He says, ""Hip replacement""."

"A planet died today I read about it in the orbituaries."

"What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snow- woman?? Snowballs..."

"People who push and shove to get on a flight before other passengers are possibly going to get to their end destination one second faster."

"I try to say at least one bad thing about somebody after they die just to counter all the compliments they're getting."

"What is an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The spacebar!"