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Joke of the Day

"was trimming my beard with my jumper today it was a **clothes** shave..."

"Two dyslexic men walk into a bra."

"If you're a germaphobe and you know it... wash your hands!"

"A termite walks into a bar and asks, ""Where's the bartender?"""

"Just itched my crotch while trying to swat a fly and four people told me I was a good dancer."

"Don't cut out part of your day to throw out clocks! It's a waste of time!"

"Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers? Because they were stale, matey!"

"I'm glad I know sign language... It comes in handy sometimes."

"If singer/actor Meat Loaf got sick and refused treatment... the newspapers headline could be ""Meat Loaf Aday keeps the doctor away"""

"I gave my son some masturbation advice. ""Slow the fuck down, you're going to rip my cock off."" I told him."