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Joke of the Day

"The Matrix would have been an entirely different movie if... ...Bill Cosby got the role of Morpheus. ""The red pill or the blue pill?"""

"My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips."

"What do you get when you put a tiny umbrella in a supercar? A Lambortini."

"Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd? But when they pronounced it, the word came out ""C-eh"" ""N-eh"" ""D-eh"""

"What is the difference between being hungry and horny? What she means by ""eat out."""

"I can tell our waitress is a slut by the way she walks. Also by the way she fucked every dude I went to high school with."

"What do laws and virgins have in common? They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)"

"Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizzas dont scream when you put them in the oven..."

"I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man ""wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"""

"What did the thunder say when it understood the joke? I feel so enlightninged!"