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Joke of the Day

"My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips."

"I went to a zoo the other day and all they had there was a dog in a cage... it was a shih tzu"

"Rain drop, drop top.... Mariah Carey's career ended before the ball dropped."

"a culture caught between afraid of being seen as too expressive like a hipster or completely inexpressive like a basic person"

"I was going to suggest Twitter to have a live Nativity scene but I think it's going to be impossible. A virgin and 3 wise men? On here?!"

"[OC] What does a blind pessimist say? ""What glass?"""

"Had an extra four seconds today so I learned how to play the bongos."

"What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan? He needed somebody to cosine."

"A horse bolted and ran into Liverpool FC's training ground. The horse charged wildly at the team as they were in the middle of training. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp."

"I thought of you last night while I was doing the dishes. Dirty right? Yep. That's right. Dishes were totally filthy."