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Joke of the Day

"One time Bill Murray came up to me at a Wendys, took a fry off my tray, ate it, looked me dead in the eyes and said ""Nobody's going to believe you"""

"Yo momma... Is so fat she started a new diet, lost a lot of weight and is doing really well now."

"Say what you want about Cannibals but they have a great taste in people."

"My phone didn't get a ring all day. . Then I forgot I had it in lebron mode."

"What is 2 inches and goes in one direction. Louis Walsh's Penis."

"What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike? Look ma, no hands!"

"I was so upset when the bathroom was out of toilet paper... I was shitty all day!"

"Carbon was under a lot of pressure from his parents to marry Silicon so Carbon gave her a diamond."

"Where does Santa's stripper mom work? The North Pole"

"Yelp* now has jail reviews. (true) Felon87: Try for Block C. Great ambient lighting, management is courteous & the risotto is 'to die for'."