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Joke of the Day

"I always eat Eggs Benedict on a foam plate Because there's no plate like foam for the hollandaise."

"If there is no complaining after a glass utensil is broken in your home... You can bet your ass it was broken by your mom."

"I like my ice cream like I like my women. Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth."

"When people argue about sports and one says ""Care to make it interesting"" I assume they're going to start talking about something else."

"My mom said she is going Indiana. I said: That's gross mom I don't want to hear about your sex life."

"An Irishman and his bean soup Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would be too farty."

"lol How much did the Holla Caust? 6 Million Jews"

"Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear? Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!"

"Did you see the President of Russia doing magic tricks outside? He was really Putin on a show"

"What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise? High Seas Dead People"