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Joke of the Day

"An Irishman and his bean soup Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would be too farty."

"Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die."

"Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common? Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West."

"Man escapes from insane asylum, and has sex with a girl in a laundry mat. The newspaper the next day reads: ""Nut screws washers and bolts."" Edit: Error in title: laundromat*."

"So I'm in a hotel and call the front desk saying, ""Hey! I gotta leak in the sink!"" The clerk says, ""Go ahead, the customer's always right..."" (Henny Youngman)"

"My signature move is illegal in 37 states."

"What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face."

"Sent my ex a card that said, ""Get better soon."" He's not ill, just really crap in bed."

"Have you heard about the Indian that set the track for Native American's to vote? He was the little Injun that could"

"What do you call a communist who's also a good sniper? a Marxman"