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Joke of the Day

"Carol from Facebook said she's ""taking it one day at a time,"" so I responded ""me too. That's how days work."""

"I can't remember where I read this, but I heard too much masturbating causes memory loss."

"Looks like Erdogan had to quit... ...cold Turkey. [](/rimshot)"

"[around campfire] ME: *grabs guitar* Hey kids how about a song? KIDS: Yeah! ME: ok *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODI"

"How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically"

"What does a Syrian refugee and an American abortion have in common? White people didn't allow them to come into the U.S."

"What do you call someone who rapes a king? A penetraitor."

"Why was Santa upset he got a sweater for Christmas? Because he wanted a screamer of a moaner."

"Two men walk into a bar.... ...the third one sees this and ducks."

"""Why can't a Christmas tree walk? ""Because it **doesn't have legs**."" ""Ugh, that's so **lame**."""