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Joke of the Day

"I used to have an imaginary girlfriend but she left me for my best friend. Apparently he had a bigger imagination."

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"Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others."
"Americans eat Turkeys at Christmas. Do people in Turkey eat Americans?"
"What's white and has black spots a dalmatian"
"I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea."
"What's the most logical country? AND OR a"
"This is gonna be misinterpreted, but I've been sitting on hard wood for an hour and my ass is killing me"
"I got chased by two Canadian geese today. I know they were Canadian because when they realized I was genuinely scared, they apologized."
"Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out."
"How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don't have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off."