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Joke of the Day

"How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don't have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off."

"Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music? Because he was de-composing."

"What do you call a crushed angle? A rektangle."

"James Bond went to get a haircut. The barber asked him if he wanted to dye his hair as well. Bond replied ""Dye another day."""

"A maybe original one-liner ""I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work,"" said the disgusting bartender."

"I went to the supermarket dressed as a classical composer... Somebody asked me what I was Chopin for."

"My lawyer friend loves board games... ...but he has been sad lately, ever since he started that Risk-free 30-day trial."

"Canada. Because I love being cold 95% of my life."

"My therapist gave me a pamphlet on anger management I lost it."

"""Bitches always be conforming to unhealthy standards set and perpetuated by the media."" - socially conscious rapper"