82069

Joke of the Day

"I have cancer. I can't sleep. Entertain me - tell me a joke about terminal illness or insomnia."

"What's the Mexican version of the KKK? Que? Que? Que?"

"My girlfriend told me to stop singing wonderwall. I said maybe..."

"I used to be a door to door vacuum salesman... That shit sucked."

"I'm such a cougar magnet. And I'm not talking about middle aged women either, I'm talking about REAL FUCKING COUGARS!"

"My friend and I went to a guitar clinic recently. He really seemed to be into it. I guess it struck a chord with him."

"Congratulations! You successfully delivered that bell with no chips or chunks of it breaking off. Please see us to receive your... No Bell Piece Prize"

"What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife? ""10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"""

"My New Year's resolutions.... Is going to be 1920x1080."

"A picture's worth 1,000 words, which explains why Twitter only shows 14 percent of the images I post."