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Joke of the Day

"I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts."

"Got an IPad from my chinese friend... Nothing beats homemade gifts."

"If sex is said to be the best exercise than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there's idea. . ."

"Twilight's like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand."

"I'm lost at Costco but everyone here looks like my dad. Just gonna pick the one with the best groceries and start a new life I guess."

"Cashier: Your total is $2,334.00. Me: Can you take off the avocado? Cashier: Okay, that will be $2.00."

"Why are foodfights forbidden in japanese schools? The children always end up with lice in their hair."

"Why did the two radio broadcasters get along so well? They were on the same wavelength."

"Beer nuts $1:50 Deer nuts under a buck"

"My 6 year old son told me this, ""what did one ocean say to the other?"". Nothing, he just waved."