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Joke of the Day

"I got a free iPad and iPhone today. It's like... this gun is magic!!!"

"It's funny how my doorbell starts working when I'm expecting a pizza delivery."

"The most important thing about telling a joke is timing"

"How does Super Mario contact the dead? He uses a Luigi board."

"At least my parents April fools joke wasn't a child. /u/ChodeologyPHD came up with this."

"Q: Why did the clown cross the road? A: To find his rubber chicken."

"Where do Snowmen go to dance? To snowballs."

"The liquor store cashier asked me my birth date so I said ""12-25-0000"", and stared into his eyes majestically."

"Why did Jesus stop playing Hockey? He just kept getting nailed to the boards. Sorry too anyone offended, but come on, why are you here if you get offended. PS, Sorry Jesus, its funny!"

"What do people in Prague call abortions? Canceled Czechs"