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Joke of the Day

"How do teachers teach safe sex in the south? put a hood on your klan member"

"I told my boss you're a plank He asked ""why?"" I said ""Cuz you're a piece of ship"""

"""You are what you eat."" I'm about 90% burrito."

"This is incredible. My iPhone's battery has made it 3 hours without needing to be charg"

"A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church... ""You can't be here"" says the pastor The Higgs Boson particle responds ""But with out me, how can you have mass?!"""

"If you think my grey hair tells a story, you should see the unmarked graves in my back yard."

"Did you know Stalin's penis was the funniest part of his body? It was real commiedick."

"I am currently upset at my mom for having me. I didnt ask to be here. Now I have all these damn bills."

"4 out of 5 people enjoy gang rape"

"Q: Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder? A: So he could shoot his mouth off."