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Joke of the Day

"girl: brrrr it's cold haha me: you... you want my kimono?"

"I think I just made the best dad joke ever. My son Robbie asked how he should get Poe into his X-wing toy. I said Wedge him. I had no one else to tell."

"I call my Missus's mimsy 'The Tardis' Not because it's bigger inside than I expected. It's just that she's had several dozen companions and at least one dog in there."

"Please stop telling me how you wish you had my curly hair. You don't know the struggle of waking up looking like Mufasa."

"I can't have teamwork at League of Legends because... the only people listening to my calls are the NSA."

"If Trump played Pokemon Go He'd probably catch'em all and transfer them away."

"got a job at the no more tears baby shampoo factory spraying shampoo into babies eyes and filming their reactions. best job ive ever had"

"The barber asks Bernie Sanders ""what are you looking to get done today?"" ""Oh, just fuck up the top 1%."" ""Say no more..."""

"If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters"

"What's thr difference between the chinese and racism? Racism has many faces."