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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross my mom and my dad? I don't know but my dad said it was a mistake :D"

"I got my retainer today So pleathe excuthe me if i talk funny for a few dayth"

"Ellen Degeneres died today... ... they found her face down in Rosie O'Donnell."

"Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!"

"Just heard a little kid tell his dad he was a lion and his dad said ""Wow!"" What a fucking pair of idiots."

"You know why paedophiles don't play Skyrim? No lollygagging."

"They say it takes talent to keep making movies after 50 Apparently they haven't said this to Steven Seagal"

"?When the moon hits your eye? You'll be killed. It's massive."

"A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink."

"Ugly girls are basically just dudes I'm not allowed to fight."