203505

Joke of the Day

"Girl told me she worked with special needs students. I asked her ""you workin hard? Or tardly workin?"". She got mad."

"People who process expired passports are so lazy they're always cutting corners. (Joel Dommett)"

"You mother is such a whore . . . she was hired on the spot at Pillsbury for her extensive yeast collection!"

"How do you compliment a scarecrow? Tell him he's outstanding in his field!"

"Everyone says to do a job you love. So i bet suicide bombers always have a blast."

"I got 9 inches last night, 8 inches today and 7 inches coming tonight. Obviously, Winter is happy to see me."

"*Full parking lot* Me: IF THERE IS A GOD, FIND ME A SPOT AND I WILL BECOME RELIGIOUS! *spot opens up* Me: NEVER MIND, I FOUND ONE!"

"Two elderly men are lounging on the porch of the Socialist Nudist Club, and one says to the other.... ""Say old chap, have you read Marx?"" ""Why yes. It's these bloody wicker chairs!"""

"What does a cow do after a break up? Mooves on."

"Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'."