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Joke of the Day

"You mother is such a whore . . . she was hired on the spot at Pillsbury for her extensive yeast collection!"

"Why are photographers always so depressed? Because they always focus on the negatives."

"How do you keep a hard on? Don't fuck with it."

"Smoking 1: What Cures Smoking 2: Cancer"

"Everyone knows that lighting our farts is great, but when are we gonna be able to vape our farts?"

"What does a martial artist get at starbucks Chai Tea"

"What kind of doctor deals with pussies? A whinecologist."

"What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"Whats the difference between a hormone and an enzyme??? You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone."

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"