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Joke of the Day

"You mother is such a whore . . . she was hired on the spot at Pillsbury for her extensive yeast collection!"

"I keep forgetting - which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?"

"Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance, they looked like hare."

"What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !"

"Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one *tale*"

"What's something that Slaves have and rich people want? Nothing!"

"If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa."

"I'm obsessed with power buttons They just turn me on."

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"I need to find out what my company needs to do in order to get protests by topless women."