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Joke of the Day

"*Full parking lot* Me: IF THERE IS A GOD, FIND ME A SPOT AND I WILL BECOME RELIGIOUS! *spot opens up* Me: NEVER MIND, I FOUND ONE!"

"What do you call sex with a french midget? Bone a petite"

"Did you hear about the stolen Tesla? I guess now it's an Edison"

"I'm selling my parachute. Mint condition. Never opened, only used once"

"Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me Me: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse"

"What was the name of the gay porno staring Macaulay Culkin where he became a prostitute in an attempt to pay his mortgage? Homo-loan"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if their was a dog."

"What do you call a snobish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"I was at the doctor... I was at the doctor getting my rectum checked and I asked him ""Where do I put my pants?"" He said, ""Over there by mine."""

"Don't know why some countries have food problems If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan."