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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid asks his dad... A Jewish kid asks his dad one day, ""Dad, I need five dollars."" His father replies, ""Four dollars? What the hell do you need three dollars for?!"""

"I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar."

"I bet Patrick Swayze's ""Ghost"" ghost & Bruce Willis's ""6th Sense"" ghost make beautiful pottery together in movie heaven."

"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."

"What kind of bird does 2 Chainz own? Toucan"

"The #NSA walks into a bar. Bartender: ""Got a new joke for you."" NSA: ""Heard it."""

"Which blood type do most of the people in Taiwan's capital city have? Taipei"

"What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? A Cellfie."

"They say the black community isn't to fond of gay marriage... maybe its for the best.. I mean... who needs two dead beat fathers?"

"So I heard Russia banned Scientology... I guess they're not Putin up with that."