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Joke of the Day
"Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly."
Next Joke
"Pretty sure my baby thinks the number after 10 is yay."
"give a man a shoe and he'll be confused as to what he needs one shoe for. teach a man to shoo and you won't have to deal with his confusion."
"Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas."
"Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*"
"""I dropped my toothpaste""... ...he said, crestfallen."
"There's nothing wrong with naming your son Marco.... Until you lose him at the park one day."
"What did the double-amputee say when he stood up? ""I stand corrected."" -From /r/showerthoughts"
"Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar... ...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final."
"Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football? Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P."