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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? (hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss"

"Look at that bald man over there. It's the first time I've seen a parting with ears."

"You know why the undertaker was fired? He made a grave mistake."

"I hugged someone once and they expected it every time they saw me. I'll never do that again."

"January 27th is Mozart's birthday. Mozart died at 34 years old. Had he lived he would be 259 years old on Tuesday"

"A guy shows up late for work... The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"What do you get when you have sex with the Quaker Oats guy? Oatmeal Creme Pies."

"Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone."

"For some reason, Spanish-speaking visitors to Britain think we worship flight attendants... I suppose it's understandable given that our national airline is called British Heroes."

"Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket? Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair."