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Joke of the Day

"I'm still waiting for the day my patents will say: ""It's all fake son, we're millionaires, this was just to teach you how to be humble."

"Who ate a lot and conquered Rome? Atilla the Hungry."

"Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again."

"What is Miley Cyrus's favorite color? Twerquoise"

"Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional."

"An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!"

"What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !"

"If a man masseur refuses to give a massage to a woman Is he a misogynist?"

"A cheap concert 50 CENT starring Nickleback"

"To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, ""You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things.""... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH."