177097

Joke of the Day

"To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, ""You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things.""... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH."

"How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer? With dog diskettes!"

"No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?"

"Why is the suicide rate so low for Puerto Ricans? You can't jump out of a basement apartment."

"After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her funeral before she died? To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party"

"I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn't punch them in the head as soon as they got here."

"Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a man say? A: Her tits are just too big."

"[Text] 18: This Hotel wants me to pay for Wi-Fi?! Me: You do know someone pays for Wi-Fi at home too, right?"

"What did the fly say to the second man on the moon? Buzz....."

"Did you hear about the guy who fucked a sheep? Turns out he's bahhh-sexual"