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Joke of the Day

"A government scandal is like a pair of boobs... The bigger they are, the harder they are to cover up."

"Best worst pick up lines? Anything and everything. ""Hey, how much does a seal weigh?"" "" I dunno?"" ""Just enough to break the ice."""

"What's the difference between your wife and your work? After 5 years, your work still sucks."

"What did the cow with a cold say? Boo"

"Standup comedian It gets up in public, at public places; thus making me awkward, and the passersby laugh. My dick is a great standup comedian."

"Jesus wakes up one day to find only 11 Disciples with him. ""Who unfollowed me?"""

"The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later."

"Hate freeloaders who join in the New Year's Eve countdown for the last 10 seconds. I've been doing this all year. Where were you back in May"

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know Y."

"The kid who would burn his marshmallow to a blackened crisp and say ""this is how I like it!"" is in prison now"