203214

Joke of the Day

"Claim to fame Celebrities walk on red carpet because they are famous. I walk on toilet paper because I'm the shit!"

"Is Santa Clause real? Because the zero's on my bank statement are."

"Someone is selling a rot iron table on Craigslist ..wonder If they would trade for a dictionary"

"So, in light of CISA becoming a law, I give you this joke about governments trampling people's rights: [Deleted by NSA]"

"Add inches to your penis with this one simple trick! Sharpen the edge of your ruler before you measure."

"They say there is safety in numbers... Tell that to 6 million jews"

"If my grandmother was on Twitter, I bet most of her tweets would be about raisins."

"I know she wanted to be cremated, and I know she didn't want a formal funeral... ...But was a ""Family Barbecue"" really the best idea?"

"How do you make a dead baby float? One glass of rootbeer and two scoops of dead baby."

"One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said ""friggity diggity"" please do not rt"