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Joke of the Day

"My mom's so pessimistic... If there was an Olympics for pessimism ... she wouldn't fancy her chances."

"My voicemail message is a 20 second recording of me sighing."

"Babe are you a new software update? Because not now."

"Chinese kid was born before the due date Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption."

"What blood type does a man with bad spelling have? Typo"

"He who farts in church Sits in his own pew"

"I bet you think it's funny when... I bet you think it's funny when I have a runny nose. It snot."

"What kind of container is appropriate for noble gases? An innertube."

"I love being a pessimist. I'm either always right or pleasantly surprised."