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Joke of the Day

"I know... I know where the percentage symbol goes %50 of the time."

"What did Hansel and Gretel say when the witch put them in the oven? She diabeetus!"

"I used to hate mushrooms But then they grew on me"

"my girlfriend hates orgasms when ever I give her one she just spits it out."

"With Zyan Malik leaving 1D.. *zyan malik or whatever leaves 1d. *Kayne West gets in. *kicks everyone out of the band. *there's room for only 1 direction homie. *it's West."

"I can only imagine Hugh Hefner ejaculating is like a really weak firecracker going off in a bag of flour."

"Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called 2 faced, its called growing up."

"This new thesaurus isn't just terrible, it's also terrible."

"What I said: I forgot my book. What the teacher heard: I hate school, I hate you & I don't want to make something out of my life."

"What's your spirit animal? ""An eagle. They're so majestic."" MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave"