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Joke of the Day

"Chemistry Student I'm a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium. He replied, 'Na, I don't'. Lucky sod, he's only ever right periodically."

"They say in New York somebody gets stabbed every 15 minutes, poor bastard."

"I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October."

"HOLLYWOOD They wanted me for the lead role in Twelve Years a slave but id only been married for 10"

"Why is their always lightning in France? Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance."

"Got arrested for dancing around the store naked advertising Hawaiian rolls I guess I'm not a very good roll model"

"Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye? Because she was seeing somebody on the side."

"What does a horny frog say? Rubbit. Stole this from a friend."

"My life is a constant struggle between wanting people to text me and never wanting to reply to texts."

"Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one? If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop"