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Joke of the Day

"Why is their always lightning in France? Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance."

"cop: ""you kinda look like one that's all"" me: ""in no way am i a pirate"" cop: ""hmm, are you sure?"" parrot on my shoulder: ""did he stutter?"""

"A super villain gently petting a carpet sample instead of a cat."

"A hungry termite walks into a pub.. And yells, Is the bar tender here?!?'"

"My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate."

"I decided to write down all the pieces of classical music I want to play before I die... ...it's my bucket Liszt."

"So Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) came out as gay ....I guess that's why all of their products suck dick."

"I was at a cafe when a Frenchman spilled water on himself. It was a pretty l'eau point in his life. (L'eau is French for water)"

"My wife and I were supposed to have a conversation about my erectile disfunction. It never came up."

"How will Donald Trump decide which ones to deport? By separating the good Juans from the bad Juans!"