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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

"[getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH"

"What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A? ""You da bomb"" ""No, you da bomb!"""

"Why are Ice Cream Truck music so loud ? NSFW To muffle the sound of the captive kids that are held captive"

"Why is a fat dog so afraid of the dog catcher? Because they're paid by the pound."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped the coffee *before it was cool*."

"How do you stop guys like Donald Trump from saying racist things? You muzzle 'em."

"I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name. Try me!"

"Him ""You run like a gazelle."" Me ""I'm graceful?"" Him ""No. You'd be easy prey for a mountain lion."""

"Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots."