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Joke of the Day

"Why do bees have sticky hair ? Beacuse of the honey combs !"

"16 Y.O. employee: ""There's a dirty diaper outside. What do I do with it?"" Me: ""Is there a live baby in it?"" Him: ""No."" Me: ""Throw it away."""

"Me: Better late than never! Wife: ... M: Seeing red? W: ... M: Go with the flow! W: ... M: I'll go buy tampons. W: NOW, MISTER FUNNY MAN."

"I only like two things in my life. Boobs."

"I've started 2016 with a goal of losing 20 pounds... Seems like I've lost more, my ATM is empty"

"Fact of the Day: Lyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. That's how Billy Joel was acquitted of arson charges."

"I'm more afraid of the shitty music my family is going to play at my funeral than I am of dying."

"Do you know the story of a penguin that breathed with his ass? It sat down and died."

"The worst part of a Halloween party with a bunch of techies is bobbing for apps."

"I can't think of many people who deserve to go to hell, but people who teach its existence to vulnerable children are prime candidates."