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Joke of the Day

"Fact of the Day: Lyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. That's how Billy Joel was acquitted of arson charges."

"Whatever you do, always give 100%... Unless of course, you're donating blood."

"*Stands guard with scissors and tinsel* Wait, you said ""wrap battle"", right?"

"A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."" ~~~ So he pays for his meal and asks for his change. The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, ""Change comes from within."""

"I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again. At the 2020 RNC."

"I bet it turns out 100% of serial killers wore jeans to the gym."

"Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree? Good hiders, aren't they?"

"Bad Joke You: Can you believe they're still together after all that crap Friend: Who? You: My butt cheeks!"

"If a cougar is a woman who likes younger boys... then a man who likes younger boys must be a Nittany lion!"

"[first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now."