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Joke of the Day

"How many atheist does it take to change a light bulb? None. It will happen itself."

"[In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle"

"cause baby now we've got baaathtubs you know we soaking in maaad suds so take a loofah for baaack scrubs cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]"

"How did the nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall"

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is a prime number and those are pretty intimidating."

"They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people"

"If you watch tape from The Ring you die in 7 days unless you copy it and show it to someone else. So what happens if you put it on Youtube?"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile (Im going to fucking hell. I shouldnt have laughed at this so hard.)"

"You ever heard the joke about the sandwich?.... ...I heard it was full of bologna"

"Me and my lover, sitting in a tree A-R-G-U-I-N-G"