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Joke of the Day

"My coworker used to joke ""I'm allergic to most nuts, but not donuts!"". Until Bill brought in peanut butter donuts. He died in the ambulance."

"I like to cry sometimes so people think I know how to chop onions."

"I apologised to my girlfriend last night for not being able to get an erection. There were no hard feelings whatsoever."

"Heard about the public speaker with the rodent up his butt? He had to cancel a speech because he was gerbily constipated."

"What goes above the water and below the water but doesn't touch the water? An egg in a duck."

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. Shoulda cooked it on aloha temperature"

"What did Donald Trump say when he couldn't find his Viagra? The erection is rigged!"

"It would be funny if we discover there are inhabitants on the comet... they would be comedians."

"What do you call a dinosaur that rapes? A sexual predator."

"You know you're getting old when your decision to sleep with someone is mostly based on the quality of their mattress and pillows."