202904

Joke of the Day

"What does a bully say to someone with severe depression? Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!"

"When I finally break up with my boyfriend I'm just going to yell ""UNFOLLOW"" and then walk away."

"What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato? A dictator."

"Meet my cat, Hemingway. And my two dogs, Faulkner and Whitman. I know what books are. Ah yes, my macaw approaches. His name is Literature"

"People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?"

"This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee... Free"

"Yesterday while I was talking with my girlfriend about Ebola, I asked her what she would do if I had Ebola... ""Ebola what, Cheerios?"" Best joke she's ever told"

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"Interestingly enough, you can get STDs from a toilet seat... But only if you sit down before the other guy gets off. Source: QI"