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Joke of the Day

"I dated a girl with a parrot once. Hideous thing that would not shut up. The parrot was cool though."

"My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat."

"I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds ""by mouth"" on the prescription label."

"The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse."

"I wrote a poem about the NFL It has 32 offensive lines."

"A man... A man tried to catch fog, he mist"

"What's the most electronegative state? Fluorida!"

"To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying"

"Drove past a Graveyard today... How many people are dead in there? my father says... i go unno? He says "" All of em"" dadjoked. It was 1998."

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please Get Out The Pool"""