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Joke of the Day

"I dated a girl with a parrot once. Hideous thing that would not shut up. The parrot was cool though."

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"" Fucking b*tch."

"What do you call a little girl who's very close to her dog? Nina"

"Can you imagine life without women? It would be a pain in the ass."

"What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad? I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake."

"optimist: the glass is half full optimist - the glass is half full; pessimist - the glass is half empty; feminist - the glass is being raped."

"ELI5: Why do i suck at posting in the right sub?"

"When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train."

"Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens? - A: Because she wanted to mail a litter."

"The definition of spin"