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Joke of the Day

"Did I mention ... I can't believe it's nearly Christmas. I once tried to balance a board on two wheels. Did I mention I make terrible segways?"

"Roses are Dead, Violets are Dead I am a bad gardener"

"Why did the blind man become Hitler? Because he could **Nazi.** *(disclaimer may have to read aloud for joke to occur, if laughing occurs for more than 4 seconds please contact your doctor)*"

"A TV weatherman who keeps accidentally calling the anchorwoman mom"

"Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

"I'm sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn't high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt."

"What would you call an uprising at Charles Xavier's school? A mutant-y"

"As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long."

"The thing about blind prostitutes... You gotta hand it to em'"

"No matter how hard you try to push that envelope It will still be stationery. ^edit: ^spelling..."