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Joke of the Day

"Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy? Because open balls are in his neighborhood"

"officer it's my son's car ""just make it stop sir"" I don't know how ""can you call him"" I'll try *tries to dial while car bounces up and down*"

"I'm the Jason Bourne of avoiding people I know at Starbucks."

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? I'm gonna need some specs or an outline of the scope, before I can get you an estimate."

"A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The leprechaun says, ""Bejesus, I'm in the wrong joke!"""

"All those who proclaim that a dog is man's best friend, Have never played with a pussy."

"People at my work name their food.. .. today I ate a lasagna named Peter"

"Why did the meme crossed the road A meme beme screme"

"When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway"

"FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building"