202706
Joke of the Day
"How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool? Microsoft Word."
Next Joke
"Handjobs and blowjobs Handjobs from girls that speak sign language count as blowjobs."
"What's denser than a feminist? Water. . . . . Water is denser than fat"
"What's the difference between oooh and ahh? 3 inches"
"I have a decaffeinated coffee table Looking at it, you wouldn't know it"
"""Give it to me,""She begged. ""I'm so wet! Give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."
"The Amazing Spiderman was good but they didn't cover the part in his life where he co-founded Facebook...I assume that will be in the sequel..."
"This guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder... and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name? The guy says, ""Tiny, because he's minute"""
"14 year old me would be shocked to learn that knowing every word to Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire' has done nothing for our career."
"I think the problem is that I'm 20% stud and 80% muffin."