2026

Joke of the Day

"The nice thing about being a pessimist is that in the end you are either pleasantly surprised or you have the satisfaction of knowing you were right all along."

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises. The librarian said ""I don't think its in yet"". I said ""Yes that's the one""."

"I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have."

"When I was a kid I was full of piss and vinegar... Now I'm just pissin' vinegar."

"Someone broke a hole in the nudist colony's fence. Police are looking into it."

"TIFU by being a loner Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"Why aren't the Italians afraid of the biscuit? Because it ain't nothing butter biscuit!!!"

"Why are hamburgers essential to football? Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!"

"A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers."