2026

Joke of the Day

"The nice thing about being a pessimist is that in the end you are either pleasantly surprised or you have the satisfaction of knowing you were right all along."

Next Joke
 
"How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? Don't worry... they'll tell you."
"I stole a jar of jelly from a friend... While I was blasting some Daft Punk. He chases me down yelling ""That's my jam!"""
"A kiss so passionate you have first degree burns from the melted cheese on the pizza."
"Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence."
"Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5 So I had her repost a joke for me that's been posted 5,000 times in the past week"
"Apparently 95% of the girl like to be waking up by oral sex !!! Well its not true, ""WHO ARE YOU AND REMOVE THIS FROM MY MOUTH"" Said the girl in the park yesterday !!"
"Is it still casual sex if you're wearing a tuxedo?"
"""we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry"" ha, hes always wandering off ""no he.."" *holds up one finger while on phone* dad ring me back"
"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to the local swimming pool. So I gave him a cup of water."