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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares.. But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."

"""As long as you append my name to a quote,... people would buy into it and take it seriously."" - Winston Churchill"

"An Irishman, An Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Actually Jesus wasn't the carpenter, Joseph was. You're thinking of the Carpenter's Monster"

"HOW DO WELSH PEOPLE EAT CHEESE? CAERPHILLY"

"Why doesn't jesus play hockey? He's scared of getting nailed into the boards"

"I hate when i'm trying to blow out birthday candles and little kids try to do it with me excuse u it's not ur birthday so take a step back"

"If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something..."

"So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song."