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Joke of the Day

"If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something..."

"Did you hear about the insomniac car-enthusiast conspiracy theorist? He stayed up all night debating whether Porsche did 911."

"What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full."

"Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio?!?! and the steering wheel, the dashboard, the windshield...."

"Kristen gave Sally 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Todd gave Sally 5 flowers and 3 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? Cancer."

"In hell, you have to listen to chicks fully explain a movie, scene by scene."

"Should I include ""hard working and honest"" in my resume? Applying for a software engineer's role at Volkswagen."

"Moses opens his tablet. The notification says, ""You have 10 unread commandments'."

"Did you hear the one where a father told his kid to quit masturbating or he'd go blind? His kid said, ""Dad, I'm over here!"""

"My proctologist has PTSD He has seen some shit"